Primos
2003, you and I were born in New Bern, North Carolina.
Late 2014 we ate at a Texas roadhouse in Charlotte North Carolina, I remember you talking about video games, as you always did. Later that night, back at the hotel, your brother connected the Wii U into the hotel tv and the words ‘Super Smash Bros for Wii U’ appeared before my eyes. Like every game we played, I felt on the edge of a cliff.
In the summer of 2022, you muffled “It’s in their culture” when referring to the poor people of New Bern North Carolina. What do you mean by that? What about their culture makes them so poor? Is it their religion? It couldn’t be, since New Bern is overwhelmingly christian. Is it their socioeconomic status? We don’t exactly stand out from them in that regard. I never questioned you about this, but I wish I did. Because if I did, I think we’d both have a process of elimination, where we’d find that there’s only one difference between us and them, our race.
The summer of 2015, the last summer me and your brother lived on the east coast. As I packed my bags into my parents rv, I felt moisture on my right shoulder as you laid your teary face. You wrapped your arms around me for what you thought was going to be the last time you’d see me. Till this day, I haven’t felt that love again, I just wish I reciprocated it more strongly.
In July 2019, I would practice basketball in the 92 degree Phoenix sun. Once I headed home to take a shower, I would see my mother with a half in half face, “Joshua’s going to have a baby”, she told me. I pretended as if I were unaffected and headed to the bathroom. I live in the heat, spending 20 minutes under steaming water with zero motion. In my pubescent head, thoughts of jealousy clouded me. Hell, the girl’s name was Madison; not even a year back, I had been simping for a girl with the same name. Same name, Filipino, yet completely different outcomes. Funny how puberty gets you thinking with the stupidest logic; at that time, I thought I was handed the short end of the stick! Thankfully something died that day, that being my parents favorite saying.
One day in 2010, my parents wanted to get fast food. Three kids were in the car; me, my sister, and her best friend. The vote was between Little Caesars or Mcdonalds and guess who got outvoted. Going through that McDonalds drive through; I’d holler, stomp, kick, scream, and spit. I was so loud to the point where even the employees could hear me through the drive through window. I think that was the moment where my parents broke, after years of dealing with me, they ripped the line, “Why couldn’t you be more like Joshua?” Something was born on that day.
August 2016 would be the first time you visited Phoenix. There was an unspoken aura when you arrived, like when Vegeta landed on planet earth, or Gus Fring entered Casa Tranquila. 1 year, 1 month, and 14 days it had been since we last played. Unconsciously, when we got back home from the airport, we took out our controllers, turned on the tv, and ‘Super Smash Bros for Wii U’ appeared on the big screen. A best of 3 turned into 5, then a 7, then 9, then before we knew it, it was already 12 at night. Till this day, there was nothing more gratifying than watching you turn those numbers up, watching you desperately come to the fact I had finally beaten you in something. Thank you, thank you for pushing me into the cliff for the first time, into the Smash Bros rabbit hole, because no matter how many games I win, or how many times I have to impress my parents, it’ll never quench the thirst.
By 2023, it wasn’t just Smash at that point. It was academics, and relationships too. I remember you calling me through discord, crying in a black room, telling me a story of your public proposal at a mall, how you thought she was the one, how you’d thought you finally found a new mother for your daughter Katie. “It’s not your fault.” I tell you, “You did nothing wrong.” I say. But who am I kidding, it’s 100% your fault. What kind of a woman marries a man whose room smells like dirty feet? What woman marries a man who speaks with prejudicial undertones? What woman likes a man so far up his own rectum, where he buys The Book of Morman, just to prove how wrong it is compared to 7th Day Adventism? You’ll never get a Roughly girl like that, I’m honestly surprised you got as far as you did. The worst part is that you’ll never know. Why? Because I’ll keep feeding you the manure you keep telling yourself. So that way you become my well, an endless well of hydration I use to quench the desert inside me.
March 3rd 2026, you fell off your own cliff, yet the earth keeps heating.
Letter
Hola Anita,
It’s been a while, right?! Anyways, sorry I haven’t gotten back to you in a while, I’ve been busy with school work XD. You wanna hear a crazy story? Well a month ago, while I was at the library studying, there was this paper that looked like a letter underneath the table I always sat at. No names, no dates, it was more like a paper of notes than an actual letter. So I read it and it was a list of different descriptions, “5’5, tan skin, brown hair, Peruvian American, dead father, famous Youtube channel.” Then I started thinking to myself, was this you?! I mean, the description seemed pretty accurate, but then I thought to myself that it was maybe a coincidence, you know. So I continued my work as usual.
Then about a week after that, while walking back home, I go to Sprouts and order a sandwich for lunch, walk out, eat at Foray’s park, then walk back home, the usual. I do that for 3 days until I notice something. From the corner of my eye, I noticed this guy, black hair, large eyes, kinda skinny, and thought nothing of it at first. But then after a few minutes, I realized that I saw this guy the day before, and the day before that. Walking a few meters behind me, from the Sprouts to the park. He wasn’t a student, certainly wasn’t a Sprouts employee. All he’d do is hang around in the store, buy something stupid, like a small bag of wallnuts, then follow me to the park, where he’d stop to eat just like me. So anyways, I did my usual thing, and hoped it was nothing serious. So when I finished my lunch, and started walking back home, I thought it’d be the end of it, but NOPE! This guy then proceeded to throw away his food and started following me again. At that point I started freaking out, I was beginning to worry that he was going to follow me to where I lived. So I thought quickly, entered another park, and waited. My stalker, I’m guessing not wanting to be outed, continued walking, but I would occasionally spot him trailing that same sidewalk back and forth. I waited an hour! Before this guy decided to ditch. When I got back home, my first instinct was to file a police report, but then I second guessed myself. Why? Because I felt like I didn’t have enough evidence to prove this guy was stalking me. So I decided to just wait it out and see if I could get more evidence. The next day, I did the same routine as the day before, and the guy didn’t show up. So I did it again the next day, nothing. The day after that, nothing. It was as if he knew what I was going to do, and stopped because of it; either that, or it was all a coincidence, I don’t know. I never filed the police report, because I never saw him again after that. Weird.
But then about a week ago, I looked at the news, AND SEE THIS MOTHERFUCKERS FACE ON IT! Wide eyed, black hair, a skeleton. So apparently this guy’s name’s Dale Snyder and he was arrested for stalking. So this guy, he found your Youtube channel and fell madly in love with you, started stalking all your socials, then decided that it’d be a good idea to stalk your guy friends. You see, this motherfucker’s super jealous, and when he found out that you had guy friends, he lost his shit and started stalking EVERY SINGLE GUY YOU’VE EVER HAD CONTACT WITH! Or at least the ones he suspected you were in a relationship with. So that’s where I come in, I was one of the guys he was stalking. To top it all off, he was only caught, because your friend, William, called the cops after hearing this guy trying to break into his home!
Honestly, what the fuck. I mean, I’m truly sorry you had to endure through this and all, and I know we’re only pen pals, so communicating can take a while. But you should’ve seriously texted me sooner about this kinda stuff! The fact that I had to find out through the news, is just so fucked up. Also, please be more careful sharing information on the internet. I don’t know how he got my address, but this stalker shit’s the last thing I want to deal with! Anyways, I know I sound really mean right now, but that’s only because I’m angry. I know I said that you should’ve been more careful sharing your information online, but this really isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault that that creep acted the way he did. I hope you come out of this situation stronger than ever and I send my best wishes.
From, Jare bear
Alan Munoz is an upcoming writer trying to hone his craft through practice. He specifically works with fictional work and is currently finished with one third of a novel. Alan’s main characteristic when it comes to his writing, is how he plays around with perspective to make a more interesting story.