The Tale of a Blessing
On April 27, 1931 in McKeesport, Pennsylvania, the world was infinitely enriched by the addition of Rita Elizabeth Salvi; my paternal grandmother. She is the fifth of seven kids in the household of one working parent. During her childhood, things were marred by tragic loss and anguish brought on by the Great Depression. Her father, Nicola Salvi, immigrated from Italy and repaired shoes for a living. While her mother, Harriet Elbert, was a homemaker who grew up in Indiana, and they met while she worked at a boarding house. In 1913, they married and wanted a big family. Unfortunately, their first and fifth child died in infancy; the first, Helen, succumbed to double pneumonia at age 2, while the fifth, Nellie, was stillborn. Their first son, Louis, was a bundle of joy, but they were not satisfied just stopping there, and so they agreed to have more. From there came Virginia, Armand, Elvera, Rita, Eleanor, and Marlene. As a father, Nicola was strict and old-fashioned, but his wife brought a gentleness to their home. After struggling through difficult economic times during the 1930’s, Nicola could not last any longer and took his own life. Their mother, Harriett, did her best to keep the family together, but ultimately gave in to clinical depression and took her life as well a few years later. At this time, Rita was only ten years old, and her oldest siblings were in their early twenties. Even though they no longer had the ones who brought them into this world, these kids had each other and summoned the strength to move forward. Almost a decade later, Rita would come across a theologian who gave her solace by proclaiming her parents went straight to heaven despite their “last minute insanity”. Despite her struggle, Rita continued living with honor and faith.
The next home for Rita, Eleanor, and Marlene, was St. Anthony’s Orphanage in Oakmont, Pennsylvania. Elvera (Vera for short) was fourteen years of age and adopted by their maternal aunt, Josephine. To be clear, the only reason why these three adorable children were not snatched up in a heartbeat by a lucky adult, was that their older sister, Virginia, did not want them to be separated; since kinship meant everything to them. At the orphanage, the nuns were kind but commanded obedience. During the holidays or when visitors came, everyone listened to these little munchkins’ cheerful singing. Throughout the four years they lived there, Rita was held in high regard for being nurturing to around a dozen girls whom she looked after, and they called her “Aunt Rita”. At school, she was the only orphan in the class, but did not receive any
special treatment. When she looks back at her time in the orphanage, Rita has nothing but happy memories of it, since it taught her the lesson of helping yourself through helping others. Her reaction to cigarettes later on was immediate revulsion, and she vowed never to commit to anyone that used them. At times when life got hard for her, Rita used her faith, made a prayer, and brought up the energy to get through the day. Compassion, empathy, and respect were the cardinal virtues which she made sure her next generation would have within them.
During high school’s junior year in Dayton, Ohio at Roosevelt high, Rita met the love of her life, Clyde Harris; they got together through her sister Marlene’s adoptive brother. Upon going steady, both Clyde and Rita agreed to finish their education before going any further. After four years of dating, they married when she was 21 and her soulmate was 22. It just happened to be on a national holiday, Groundhog’s Day. Rita knew that her schooling was over since she did not have enough money, and because in this era, women were not widely expected to go much higher than this. Originally, she was employed as a secretary-clerk at a finance office for a year, and then Rita was hired at General Motors as a clerk-typist. Throughout her nineteen-year career, Rita was dependable and felt respected as the competent worker she was. When her children came along, she took some time off to raise them, but ultimately returned in order to help pay for their college. It didn’t take long for her to gain trust back, as her bosses put her in charge of mentoring younger managers on duties of the office, and rapport was built as she was always fair. As her employers were away negotiating business from time to time, they put Rita in charge of everything. Her hourly wage was initially $4.00, and when she retired it was $10.00. This provides proof of the appreciation her hard work earned. Rita is a natural caregiver who not only put sincere thought into her job, but exponentially more in her role as a mother.
In her early twenties Rita was ready to have kids, as Clyde had graduated college and was working full-time. They both wanted a big family but four was the most; Rita definitely did not want to go through as many childbirths as her own mother had. Clyde wanted all sons, but they compromised with having one daughter; as it happened, they each got their wish. The first child delivery went smoothly as the doctors put Rita to sleep through it all. However, her second time was far more excruciating as the doctor was out to dinner, and they did not have any time for anesthesia; later on she would say that it was the most severe pain she has ever experienced. They picked their first two names: Michael and Mark, and then their daughter was named after her sister, Marlene, but shortened to Marla for a distinction. Since Clyde worked away from
home a big part of the month, Rita put the caboose on the line. Their youngest, Matthew, was born with hypoglycemia (naturally underweight) and was instructed to eat an ice cream sandwich every night after dinner. The two primary traits they would ingrain in their kids were honesty and discipline; as parents, they never tolerated lying and delivered swift punishment when it occurred. Rita was sure to be an impartial judge and expressed no favoritism. She sent them to Catholic school just like she went through. It gave a convenient location and strongly instilled honor. Both Rita and Clyde insisted on all of their kids attending college, yet they did not push for any one in particular. Rita did her part in giving her children a better opportunity in life.
Once all the kids were out of the house and into homes of their own, she was not done living just yet. Rita was not finished being her caring self, as her world grew bigger with grandchildren. Her position transitioned from babysitter to caregiver, and everyone knew she was in all of their corners. Despite her best intentions of staying fit through exercise, Rita’s knees developed early onset arthritis, and ended her running days for good. Nevertheless, her grown kids still counted on her unconditional support through obstacles like losing a child, divorce, and terminal illness. In spite of these serious issues, Rita’s heart and soul never aged one bit. Now, her eleven grandchildren are the light of her eyes, for whom she prays for every night. My grandmother does not have a long list of accolades or is known across borders, but is nonetheless remarkable for knowing who she is, what she wants and what is important in life. Through it all she has been stronger than many I have ever known, and I am certain she would happily do it all over again. Within my heart she shall have her own nook where I will hear her cheering me on as she rests peacefully amongst the greats of the ages.
Author Bio: Doug Harris is a 25yr old transfer student at Cal State San Marcos. Doug has recently earned his Associates Transfer Degree in English, and is now pursuing his Bachelor’s Degree in Literature & Writing. Doug is an aspiring creative nonfiction writer, who yearns to dedicate himself to producing beauty through his written work. Doug is an introverted, conscientious and a “wise-beyond-his-years” young man. Doug strives to live with a pure-heart, just like for example, what Mahatma Gandhi lived for: “In a gentle way, you can shake the world”.